You might not think that being sexually confident is very important. After all, there are lots of other things in life that are essential, and being confident in bed may not feature on your list of priorities. However, if you are sexually confident, you’ll also be more confident for the rest of your life, not to mention the fact that sex has been proven to be good for our physical and mental health.
The problem is that many people struggle with various things that make it harder for them to be sexually confident. This could be their feelings about their bodies, and it could be self-doubt in terms of how they perform and all kinds of other things. The good news is that sexual confidence is something you can learn, and it can be improved over time. With that in mind, here are some helpful tips on how to be more sexually confident.
Self-Acceptance And Body Positivity
If you want to be more sexually confident, it all starts with self-acceptance and body positivity. A lot of people – perhaps the majority of people – don’t like how they look or how their bodies make them feel, and they might want to cover up as much as they can. This can mean that when it comes time to go to bed with a partner, they just want to keep doing the same thing and not show off their bodies at all.
What you need to do is celebrate your body and look at the things that are great about it while at the same time acknowledging that although you have flaws (as everyone does), they are not something to focus on. Flaws can either be fixed (perhaps through diet and exercise or something simple like drinking more water, for example), or they can’t. If it’s the former, you can take action; if it’s the latter, you can’t do anything and shouldn’t worry.
This is a hard mindset to get into, but some ways that can help include practicing self-care, exercising, wearing clothes that make you feel good and attractive, and even accepting compliments. When you love your own body, you’ll feel a lot more confident in the bedroom.
Explore Your Fantasies
Have you ever really allowed yourself to think about your own desires and fantasies and explore them as much as possible? If you’re not sexually confident, doing this and paying attention to the things that make you feel good and interest you is crucial. Take the time to explore these ideas as well as your own body and experiment with as many different things as you can – a visit to My Amazing Fantasy could be a great idea, as sex toys can make a big difference to how much you’re able to try and what you can do.
When you’re more aware of what works for you, you’ll be happier to let your partner know, and to ask them what they want in terms of their own fantasies. In this way, everyone can have an enjoyable time, and you’ll be filled with confidence because you’ll know precisely what you want.
Following on from the point above, communication is another crucial element when it comes to ways to be more sexually confident. Talk to your partner about what you want in terms of your fantasies, as we’ve mentioned above – don’t just keep this to yourself, even if that is a good way to start getting more confident in a sexual situation. You also need to let your partner know what you don’t like; it might be that they think they are giving you pleasure when they’re actually not, and until you say something, they’ll never know.
The more you can communicate, the more confident you’ll be when you’re intimate, knowing that you trust one another to discuss what works and what doesn’t, and how you can make the experience better for both of you.
Consent is a big part of communication. You need to ensure both of you are one hundred percent comfortable with what you’re doing. Not only will communication make you feel more confident, but it will help to strengthen your bond and relationship as well.
The more you know about anything, the more confident you’ll be, so of course, the same can be said about anything sexual. Make sure you learn as much as you can about the human body, sexual health, and various ways to enhance sexual pleasure (like visiting the sex shop we mentioned above).
You can read books, listen to podcasts, or attend workshops on sexual wellbeing, for example. You’ll need to pick an option that works for you, and at the start of your sexual confidence journey, this might be hard. Don’t worry if you feel embarrassed; this is all part of the learning process, and it can be a good gauge to help you know when you become more confident; when you don’t get embarrassed quite so easily, your confidence will increase.
Being sexually confident isn’t just about the act of sex itself or the physical, sexual acts you can perform. It’s also about sensuality, which means engaging all of your senses and completely immersing yourself in an enjoyable experience. Examples of something sensual but not necessarily sexual include:
- Bathing together
- Using scents and textures in your sexual encounters
To do this, you need to be fully present at the moment and enjoy the pleasure of touch, sight, taste, sound, and smell. When you can see how things can become sensual or used in a sensual way, you’ll find a lot more confidence because you’ll have more to experiment with. Sex doesn’t have to be boring, and it doesn’t have to be the same every time, and if you’re not confident in bed, it might be that you just haven’t found what works for you yet – sensual experiences might be what changes things for you for the better. Try new things whenever you can, and your confidence is sure to grow.